These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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