Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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