Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
