the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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