Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
