things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
