I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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