Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
