you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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