some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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