God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You ruined the universe
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
