her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
