mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
