Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
