the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
