there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
