If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
