Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
