I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
