And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
