I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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