you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
