you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
