My hand turned me down
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You pole danced in your parka.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
