How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
