i think i have herpe
just one?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
