i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
