You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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