Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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