I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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