I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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