I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
