Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
