And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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