I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Edward fifth and chaser hands
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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