He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize