I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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