Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
