They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I puked a lego.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
