I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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