your room smells of hookers.
And success
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
