barbara walters just said penis...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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