I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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