He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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