ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Randomize
