you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
