Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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