Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Alive.
So much puke
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Pants are for mortals
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
