i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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