I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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